Friday, November 6, 2009

Let us fix our EYES on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross,

scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Today was Cannon's eye appointment. Unfortunately a day for grim news. We knew that there was something going on with Cannon's eye, his right one seems to be a little "lazy" and doesn't always go the same direction as the left one. We first noticed in back in July. We just thought that he would need a patch to cover the left eye, forcing him to strengthen his right eye. Worse case scenario we thought he would need glasses. However, my heart dropped when I heard the word "surgery". Our poor baby has to go through it again. It brought me back to the first month of his life. Being in the hospital waiting to hear he was okay...sitting in that OR waiting room several times waiting to see the face of the surgeon. Would he have a smile to greet us, or would we hear the words "I'm sorry"? Thankfully we got 5 out of 5, smiles with "He did well". I dread having to sit there while they intubate him again, put him to sleep again, cut on my baby, and wait for him to wake up. My mind has been running in circles today. I look at Cannon and just want to cry, I have apologized several times for what he has to go through. I wish I could take his place. I wish that he didn't have to go through all of this again. I wish and pray that this will go away. I have to keep reminding myself that this surgery is looked at as a simple procedure. How can you call anything that involves cutting into my baby simple? When your are cutting into or around his eyes, how is that simple?
I know I am rambling, and I know that it might sound silly that I have been so worked up about this. I guess I am just "talking" (writing) through my feelings. My faith is strong enough to get me through this. I know that the Lord will carry us through. I know that He will provide and comfort us. I know that Cannon will be okay. Please pray for me, and more importantly Cannon. I just thought that worse case he would need glasses. I am reminded that it doesn't matter how simple it may seem...PRAY! I didn't realize that I hadn't even prayed that today would be good news, that everything would have a simple answer. WOW!

So for details...we have none. I called Cannon's neurologist to get the name of a pediatric opthamologist in Ft. Worth, then gave it to the doctor's office here so that we could get an appointment there. They didn't call me back today, which means that she didn't hear back from the doctor in FW. Hopefully I will get a call on Monday. I am hoping that we will get into see the doctor very soon. When I get more information I will let you all know. Please continue to pray for us. And thank you in advance. Love you all!


Sarah Megan said...

My sweet cousin,
You have a strong boy. The strongest one I know. And you know what is a small upside of this? The fact that honestly, he probably won't remember this. He will reap the benefits without remembering the pain.

Stay strong, you are his rock, but we can be yours.

Love you, cousin.

jessicalauren said...

prayers for your family! you were so strong when cannon was in the NI, and i have no doubt God will give you that same strength this time too!